Religion and Devotion

The purpose is Fractal Hopping. To devote oneself wholeheartedly to something, is to attempt to make it timeless. True devotion comes with true righteousness. However, the distinction between righteous and right must be made, to have real clarity. Simply put, one that is devoted will push toward the desires of the one whom is devoted towards. Devotion works essentially the same no matter the devotee or that which is devoted to. I find the religions are any collection of people who choose to be fully devoted to one or many of these together. This tends to be filed under the realm of order; where everything not part of the group is in the way(and in a sense are destructive). As a reaction, the leftover peoples are considered chaotic, and through symbiosis can be creative. Good and evil do not exist in this play but nonetheless, each side chooses their own as the voice of good, and decides the other is the voice of evil.

The real confusion arises however when one understands that you can devote yourself to any godform, man, state, animal, planet, star, or even a concept. Who is really "right" when you have devotees of "goodness" fighting against devotees of "truth", or the "Sun God" vs the "Moon God". Possibly the most confusing of all is when you have people who devote themselves to concepts of life, death, creation, destruction, order, chaos, good, evil.

Unfortunately all devotion does is Fractal Hopping, it allows ideas to change their timescale from that of a human to that of a community, or nation, or planet. A devoted man teaches their children to be devoted, then their children's children, so that their devotion can be passed on through the centuries. When a culture of children is given an idea to cherish early in life, it has dramatic outcomes on the world, that noone could predict.

Mental illness

How does one become mentally ill? Or more specifically, what does it really mean to be mentally ill? One would say it is simply deviating from the norm. Another person, possibly educated in the field, would say theres underlying damage in their thought processing mechanisms "faulty 'circuits'" or "humor imbalance"("neurotransmitter imbalance" if you want the current term).

I'd rather say it is an implication of the society the faulty mind is in. There are innumerable number of ways a mind could be distressed, but when it is, there are as many more ways a mind could react to it. I tend to believe the "faulty circuits" or the "imbalance"... or "social deviance" are all simple veils over the many reactions to mental strain. To me, mental problems stem from signs in the community, and society more so than an individual. If a child grows up in a faulty society he will notice it early. This child will be told immediately that everything is alright, and the child can either accept it, or deviate.

I find myself sitting in a crossroads. I've always seen myself as one happy to sit in the ivory tower. I have always thirsted for knowledge and betterment of myself and those around me. But then I step outside, and see how ignorant I am that not everyone else wants the same as me. I've spent my life as a tool for a single piece of our society, not knowing how big the stakes are. I entered my realm of society because I was pushed there. However, I regret nothing because if i was not pushed here then I could have drifted in the sea of our society ending up anywhere, but most likely near the bottom.

I think my illness began when I became a mental half-breed. I believe I've turned myself into the mental equivalent of a mutt. None of the pure-breeds recognize a mutt as an equal, but he is more resilient due to his reversing the ages of inbred ideas. Unfortunately I have no idea where to go or what to do. I feel I have advantages to a game that only I want to play, and the game everyone else is playing seems repetitive, boring and above all, childish.

Revamp

Trying a new style out. Just going with whatever's on my mind, as it comes rather than trying to mull over ideas that are a number of years old, that even I barely understand anymore. I've changed the name from "Gray Force" (it just doesn't suit my mind anymore; also found a completely unrelated "Grey Force" blog) to a slightly more strange "Hormetic Minds" I'll let people try to figure out what that means, but the obvious clue is in the name--> See "Hormesis". Sure, its a medical term that has no contextual bearing on something as grand as a mind, but I like inventing new meanings to good words (rather than inventing an arbitrary and unnecessary words to be filed into the "synonym" bin).

In any case, I've also changed my pseudonym from "Last Of The Gray". I never liked it that much.It was too silly, pretentious, and I don't feel it suits me either. I changed it to a term I sort of invented, called "Chaorder Gradient". I like it because it is near impossible to imagine such a thing as a gradient from order to chaos, but at the same time I feel it could be represent a human, or a society, or anything else complicated enough to holster a form of intelligence. Does a man support chaos, or does a man support order, one school of thought will teach you that humans are a constant pressure towards order, and move to another place, maybe even a block down the street and you get someone preaching that natural humans press on towards chaos. Following either school of thought will cause implications on a person in the long term, but thats a bit too much to talk about. I prefer to stand firm in the stance of neither. Furthermore, we are neither good nor evil, neither left nor right, and neither  transcendent nor base, by nature. But the fact of the matter, people do hold these qualities, they exist along the whole fabric that is our society. Finding them is the trick though.