Reality?

I realized I might be more constant in writing about things grounded in reality if I knew people existing in reality read this blog.

Good People

The worst thing a good person, realizing that being good is the logical thing to do if one wants to better the world, is to assume that the majority is good. It fails to register the people who neither want to be logical, nor want to better the world. It is an easy assumption if you only surround yourself with those you can relate to.

Musical Memory

What if Your favorite old music was a primer for your strongest memories that you had when you first listened to it. If you stopped listening to that music for a long period of time, would you feel like you were losing yourself? Or would you feel relief that you were no longer burdened by the past?

Sci-Fi?

... and then the cancerous tumors, each of similar origin began to enter the blood stream of each patient, and reached their respective brains.

In the first patient, the cancerous cells intruded into the brain. The body sensed the intruders and began to attack. The patient fought the cancer hard. The cancer never truly harmed the man; however two effects lead to his demise. First, the stress of inflammation in response to the tumor cells created stressors dramatically harming his well being. Secondly, an auto-immune response formulated. His hard fight began to fight his own healthy cells. It was a painful death.

The second patient reacted to the cancer in a very different manner. It is unclear whether the microglia[neural portion of immune system] did not detect the cancer cells, or if they chose not to treat them as a threat, but in the end, the intrusive cells were not harmed in their transit within the brain. It seemed as though the invaders, while cancerous, were still treated as part of the whole within the body. Unfortunately upon entering the brain, they proliferated, and quickly. It wasn't long until the functional neural cells were being choked of resources. Soon enough, the patient passed.

The third and final patient had a unique reaction. When the cancer cells reached the brain, they were not immediately attacked. They proliferated for a short while. Certain factors began to be released from both the cancerous and glial cells. Upon this, microglia were activated in certain portions of the brain but not all, and consumed about 80% of the cancerous cells in the brain. Over time, production rate of cancer cells, and microglia consumption of cells diminished to low amounts. Also, new factors were beginning to be released in the original tumor; as well as an increase in the cancer-related factors from the brain. As time passed notable changes in the patient were taking place, such as personality differences, as well as an odd change in dietary habits. What was most astounding was that the original tumor began to shrink, as if they were re-differentiating to their original purpose. As this happened, the tumor cells within the brain had subsided as well. It was found later that there were still trace amounts of tumor cells left in the brain only. While the personality changes in this patient remained, he was the only one to survive.

It was quite an interesting revolution.

Short

Emotion is to flavor as thought is to food. I think I may be a mental glutton; I forgot how to savor knowledge, and differentiate poison from nutrient.

Religion and Devotion

The purpose is Fractal Hopping. To devote oneself wholeheartedly to something, is to attempt to make it timeless. True devotion comes with true righteousness. However, the distinction between righteous and right must be made, to have real clarity. Simply put, one that is devoted will push toward the desires of the one whom is devoted towards. Devotion works essentially the same no matter the devotee or that which is devoted to. I find the religions are any collection of people who choose to be fully devoted to one or many of these together. This tends to be filed under the realm of order; where everything not part of the group is in the way(and in a sense are destructive). As a reaction, the leftover peoples are considered chaotic, and through symbiosis can be creative. Good and evil do not exist in this play but nonetheless, each side chooses their own as the voice of good, and decides the other is the voice of evil.

The real confusion arises however when one understands that you can devote yourself to any godform, man, state, animal, planet, star, or even a concept. Who is really "right" when you have devotees of "goodness" fighting against devotees of "truth", or the "Sun God" vs the "Moon God". Possibly the most confusing of all is when you have people who devote themselves to concepts of life, death, creation, destruction, order, chaos, good, evil.

Unfortunately all devotion does is Fractal Hopping, it allows ideas to change their timescale from that of a human to that of a community, or nation, or planet. A devoted man teaches their children to be devoted, then their children's children, so that their devotion can be passed on through the centuries. When a culture of children is given an idea to cherish early in life, it has dramatic outcomes on the world, that noone could predict.

Mental illness

How does one become mentally ill? Or more specifically, what does it really mean to be mentally ill? One would say it is simply deviating from the norm. Another person, possibly educated in the field, would say theres underlying damage in their thought processing mechanisms "faulty 'circuits'" or "humor imbalance"("neurotransmitter imbalance" if you want the current term).

I'd rather say it is an implication of the society the faulty mind is in. There are innumerable number of ways a mind could be distressed, but when it is, there are as many more ways a mind could react to it. I tend to believe the "faulty circuits" or the "imbalance"... or "social deviance" are all simple veils over the many reactions to mental strain. To me, mental problems stem from signs in the community, and society more so than an individual. If a child grows up in a faulty society he will notice it early. This child will be told immediately that everything is alright, and the child can either accept it, or deviate.

I find myself sitting in a crossroads. I've always seen myself as one happy to sit in the ivory tower. I have always thirsted for knowledge and betterment of myself and those around me. But then I step outside, and see how ignorant I am that not everyone else wants the same as me. I've spent my life as a tool for a single piece of our society, not knowing how big the stakes are. I entered my realm of society because I was pushed there. However, I regret nothing because if i was not pushed here then I could have drifted in the sea of our society ending up anywhere, but most likely near the bottom.

I think my illness began when I became a mental half-breed. I believe I've turned myself into the mental equivalent of a mutt. None of the pure-breeds recognize a mutt as an equal, but he is more resilient due to his reversing the ages of inbred ideas. Unfortunately I have no idea where to go or what to do. I feel I have advantages to a game that only I want to play, and the game everyone else is playing seems repetitive, boring and above all, childish.

Revamp

Trying a new style out. Just going with whatever's on my mind, as it comes rather than trying to mull over ideas that are a number of years old, that even I barely understand anymore. I've changed the name from "Gray Force" (it just doesn't suit my mind anymore; also found a completely unrelated "Grey Force" blog) to a slightly more strange "Hormetic Minds" I'll let people try to figure out what that means, but the obvious clue is in the name--> See "Hormesis". Sure, its a medical term that has no contextual bearing on something as grand as a mind, but I like inventing new meanings to good words (rather than inventing an arbitrary and unnecessary words to be filed into the "synonym" bin).

In any case, I've also changed my pseudonym from "Last Of The Gray". I never liked it that much.It was too silly, pretentious, and I don't feel it suits me either. I changed it to a term I sort of invented, called "Chaorder Gradient". I like it because it is near impossible to imagine such a thing as a gradient from order to chaos, but at the same time I feel it could be represent a human, or a society, or anything else complicated enough to holster a form of intelligence. Does a man support chaos, or does a man support order, one school of thought will teach you that humans are a constant pressure towards order, and move to another place, maybe even a block down the street and you get someone preaching that natural humans press on towards chaos. Following either school of thought will cause implications on a person in the long term, but thats a bit too much to talk about. I prefer to stand firm in the stance of neither. Furthermore, we are neither good nor evil, neither left nor right, and neither  transcendent nor base, by nature. But the fact of the matter, people do hold these qualities, they exist along the whole fabric that is our society. Finding them is the trick though.